So a friend of mine told me that he was going to start using steroids, and since I had heard so many bad things about them, naturally I got worried. But then I looked up some info on steroids and I realized that I was wrong, and maybe steroids weren*t such a bad thing after all.

**FREE PERMANENT BIRTH CONTROL:  using steroids can cause infertility... never worry about an unwanted pregnancy again

**SAVE MONEY:  steroids can cause baldness, this will be a big cut down on all those expensive shampoo and hair-care products

**BOOBS:  what guy doesn*t like boobs?  well if you*re a male and you do steroids you could get some of your own!

**LIVER DAMAGE:  if you get cancer of the liver, you can tell your parents and your doctor confidently that it*s not all because of your drinking

**KIDNEY PROBLEMS:  a few kidney stones here and there will make you appreciate life a lot more when you*re not having these problems

**NEW EXPERIENCES:  doing steroids often causes boredom... many people who drink to alleviate natural boredom will turn to other more serious drugs to alleviate this drug induced boredom... won*t you have some interesting stories to tell during those family get-togethers!

**MALE-ANOREXIA:  if you could use to loose a little extra weight anyway... this will get the job done quickly!

**TESTICULAR ATROPHY:  you can be sure that you*ll never again have to worry "Are my testicles too big????"

**NO MORE RED-EYE IN PHOTOS:  steroids can create a condition called "jaundice" which colors your eyes yellow... not only will you have a significant red-eye reduction in all those family photos, but this will also give you a unique, exotic look

**REPRIORITZE YOUR LIFE:  steroids can cause major mood swings, depression and violent behavior... this can cause problems with jobs and personal relationships... WHO WANTS THOSE THINGS ANYWAYS!?!  what a waste of time... steroids will make it easy to get rid of all that

**EXCITING TRIPS:  steroid use can cause an enlargement of the heart, leading to heart failure, high blood pressure, hardening of the arteries, high cholesterol, heart attack, heart palpitations, stroke, anaphylactic and septic shock... i*m talking some freakishly FUN ambulance rides, and who doesn*t love checking out those hot nurses in the hospital??

**STOP WORRYING ABOUT YOUR GRADES:  steroids cause a loss of interests and energy, you won*t worry about your homework, tests, or your grades anymore

**FREE FOOD, HEAT, HOUSING, LOTS OF NEW FRIENDS JUST LIKE YOU, AND A STYLISH NEW WARDROBE:  the need to pay for steroids, in conjunction with a lack of interest in getting a real job will most likely result in the use selling a graeter amount of illicit drugs... in the event of getting convicted, you will get to join others just like you in prison, where you are provided with food, heat, and housing (no more worrying about bills!) AND a stylish new wardrobe... and i*ll let you in on a little secret... STRIPES ARE TOTALLY IN NEXT SEASON